Giving Critical Feedback

By: Chief David Ogden
May 2023

Avoiding discomfort is cowardice and transfers the problem to someone else.
Leaders should role-play how to give constructive feedback.
Leaders must establish two things; ensure they know you care about them and their interests.
We want an “I win, you win” outcome to give constructive feedback.

I’ve often said you will hit the target every time whenever you aim at nothing, and far too often, leaders enter difficult conversations without having a clear target. Leaders must learn to give constructive feedback, and we seriously lack skills for success in this critical area. Avoiding discomfort is leadership cowardice. Ultimately, whatever problems you refuse to address, transfer to someone else to solve. In these situations, teams fracture, forcing people to take sides and hurting trust. Giving constructive feedback is critical to effective leadership and organizational health.

Professional athletes, military, pilots, and first responders understand the benefit of training for high risks incidents. Most leadership programs do little more than offer philosophies for mastering, giving constructive feedback, or handling conflict. We need to develop role-playing exercises, as we do in physically high-risk environments, to master these skill sets. Most leaders have limited experience giving constructive feedback, and the stakes are even higher when we don’t do it right. Implement challenging role-playing exercises, starting early with line supervisors and mid-level managers to manage your teams.

Candor is a compliment and a sign of mutual respect. Leaders responsible for relaying constructive feedback must establish two things in the first moments of the conversation; ensure they feel like you care about them and their best interests. This will create an atmosphere of mutual respect and builds trust.

As a former SWAT Team Leader and High-Risk Incident Commander, I learned a valuable lesson from attending Lt. Col. David Grossman’s class in the mid-’90s. He instructed us that when a leader has to respond to a critical incident, a shooting, or another event, first let them know, “I am glad you are okay.” When you are confident this is done, then make sure you explain the process in detail. This is how we build trust when we have to have tough conversations. I have used this with tremendous success over the years.

Conflicts will occur, and when they do, there are three outcomes; we both lose, I win, you lose, or we both come out winners. We should aim to change behavior, improve performance, and create a healthier team that produces the best product. We always want an I win; you win outcome when giving corrective advice. We aim to impact their lives, translating to a healthier team positively.

Here are some more great tips:

Be positive. We should always begin our conversations by being positive and ensuring the person knows we appreciate them as team members.
Be specific and provide facts. We need to be factual and clear when we are addressing complex issues. The more specifics we have, the better we can pinpoint what needs to be changed.
Be clear about the issues. We must ensure that the person understands this is about improvement, not personal attacks.
Be aware of your tone. We want to ensure this isn’t a personal attack and that our tone, body language, and message aren’t personal.
Be quiet when it is time to listen. Allow the person to talk, and have their say. You may learn something new that will shed light on an issue.
Be sure to follow up and provide ongoing feedback. We are all busy people, and it is so easy to think we have addressed an issue only to find that there is still a miscommunication months later. Leaders should schedule follow-up conversations.
Be proactive in offering advice on how to do better. No one wants to be the idiot in the room and not ask questions. But when we finally do, we realize everyone else probably had the same question, and we were too afraid to ask it. Leaders can be proactive, check-in, and help with constructive ideas.
Be sure to end on a positive note and be thankful. Yes, we started positive and ended positive, and one of the ways to do that is always to thank them for their time and listening.

Leaders must learn to give constructive feedback, which is critical to organizational health. When these conversations go wrong, teams lose trust, and corporate health suffers. The only thing you control is your response. Therefore, planning and training leaders and managers to give critical feedback should be a priority for any business concerned about organizational health. Following these tips and providing role-playing exercises is a great way to improve performance.

You may also find these articles helpful in being a more informed leader.

Huston, T. (2021, January 26). Giving Critical Feedback Is Even Harder Remotely. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2021/01/giving-critical-feedback-is-even-harder-remotely

Koopman, M. (n.d.). 10 Steps To Provide Critical Feedback—Without It Backfiring. Forbes. Retrieved June 12, 2023, from https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesbusinesscouncil/2022/09/13/10-steps-to-provide-critical-feedback-without-it-backfiring/

Miles, M. (2022, January 14). How to give constructive feedback as a manager. https://www.betterup.com/blog/constructive-feedback

Royse, M. (2022, January 19). 5 Things to Keep in Mind When Giving Critical Feedback. Change Your Mind Change Your Life. https://medium.com/change-your-mind/5-things-to-keep-in-mind-when-giving-critical-feedback-9adbb822b79e

Seppaia, E. (2016, June 1). 3 Highly Effective Ways to Give Critical Feedback | Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201606/3-highly-effective-ways-to-give-critical-feedback

David A. Ogden is a successful executive with over 37 years of policing, serving, and leading the community. He is passionate about developing leadership initiatives for excellence, advocating for organizational health, and building elite law enforcement teams to achieve the mission of serving with excellence. Chief Ogden is the founder of “Got Your Six,” a first responder ministry.